ROLLS-ROYCE PHANTOM COUPE

The indulgent and colonial British institution that is Rolls Royce has given the environmental theme of this year's Geneva Motor Show a blunt one fingered salute with this grotesque monstrosity, the Phantom Coupe. In oh so typical fashion, this is like any other Rolls Royce in recent history. Utterly tackless, rather ugly, and completely irrelevant. And yet for some mischievous reason, you still sort of like it. Perhaps it's because it's everything politically incorrect about cars. It's got a 6.75 litre V12 petrol engine, the maneuverability of a truck, the hide of half the world's cattle, and polished up half a forest for woodgrain. These outrageous ingredients come together to offer the most effortless, luxurious, and stately manner of transport money can buy without buying your own Airbus A380. But to be honest what's the point, other than to offer some CEO or Hollywood brat the opportunity to own the biggest statement in poor taste. Not only that, but a fleet of SUVs would cost less to run than this, and probably a lot greener too. If you bought one of these look out. Forget the whaling ships. Greenpeace will surely start chasing these down. The interior, while built from the finest of materials in existence, come together with poor taste. Ergonomics rival that of a train and that giant steering wheel would be horrible to hold. Try using that while you're pushing this 2 tonne barge through peak our traffic.

Yet while the Phanton Coupe epitimises everything the automotive industry is trying to move away from, you still sort of like it don't you? It represents everything you shouldn't do. It's thirsty, it's tough on the environment, it's grossly over-specced, and it looks like a menacing truck. Dr Evil would have one of these. People who'd buy this would rather burnt their money in a furnice than give it away to charity. It's this 'stuff you all, I'm rich' attitude which makes Rolls-Royce what it is. And it's this attitude which makes monstrosities like the Phantom Coupe appeal to your dark side. You'd scoff at one on the street, but deep down you wish you were the one behind that wheel, nose in the air, laughing at the great unwashed outside.

AUDI R8 V12 TDI

Audi seems to be enjoying driving us all insane with anxiety. They've been hinting for months that they'll put their Le Mans conquering TDI V12 engine into the supercar of the moment, the R8. But hinting is one thing, confirmation is quite another. And so here we go again, for round two of psychological warfare with this, the R8 V12 TDI unveiled in Geneva. This is now the second R8 to be put on show with the same V12 that made motor sport history a couple of years ago, as Audi displayed a similar car at the Detroit Motor Show. Reception to that car was such that Audi has modified and decorated a second R8 with the same killer diesel. What's interesting with this one is that it definitely looks like a production car, with nothing unrealistic or 'showy' about it's appearance which couldn't be put into build. Not that it isn't fantastic to look at, anything but in fact. The V8 R8 makes a 911 look like a common Commodore. This red example, with it's tweaked carbon fibre body kit and sinister alloy wheels takes the R8 to Ferrari and Lamborghini levels of excitement, anticipation, and suggested motor sport pedigree.

The most important ingredient, of course, is that engine. Does 368KW sound special? Not particularly? Well how about 1000NM of torque? This engine could pull a fully laden bus and still be faster than any hoon's HSV. The sheer acceleration of this car will be absolutely extraordinary, and will surely be tailor made for GT production racing. Providing they adjust the chassis accordingly to host that torque then this will be one of the most desirable cars for a long long time. The R8 was destined for an engine like this, and for those petrol heads out there who still can't get their head around diesel power, then look at what Audi has been doing at Le Mans. Just about everyone, including their competitors, thought Audi were biting off more than they could chew when they announced they'd be moving their Le Mans cars to turbo-diesel power. Traditionalists thought they were stupid. So what happened? Audi walked the 24 hour race at their first diesel attempt, leaving their rivals looking pedestrian. Such was the dominance and power of their V12 turbo-Diesels that Peugeot (a maker synonymous with diesel engines) announced they'd return to Le Mans with their own diesel powered cars. In 2007, diesel powered cars dominated Le Mans.

The moral of the story? Like motor sport, ideologies and attitudes in the automotive industry are changing. These days, the majority of the market is now shifting to alternative technologies. Without that, the industry is unsustainable. The supercar market is more than ready for a diesel hero. Come on Audi, put us out of our misery and confirm what we already (almost) know!

LOTUS EXIGE S

One of the greatest cars on the planet, the giant-killing Lotus Exige S, has been given a power boost. The light-weight pocket rocket now puts out 179KW from its 1.8 Supercharged engine, up from 163 KW. Now that might not sound all that exciting, but in a car weighing less than just about any other on the market that's huge. The Toyota sourced engine will now take the Exige S from standstill to 100 km/hr in 4.16 seconds. 4.16 seconds! That's faster than just about anything the better side of half a million dollars can muster! Who needs a Ferrari hey? Not only is it so quick that it'll burn the hairs of your face, but with go-kart-like response from the agile chassis, this makes for one formidable track weapon. Lotus Exiges are quite common on race tracks throughout the world. Their popularity stems from their easily accessible chassis and light weight, making them reasonably gentle on their tyres and largely untouchable in the twisty stuff. This power increase will scare quite a few of those people out there who battle Exiges on the track.

Of course, as a daily option, the Exige is a bit complicated. The interior, while featuring solid brushed aluminium and some lovely exposed body work, is minimal and industrial. Then there's the ride. When they say this thing is a go-kart they're not kidding. You feel every bump, every ripple on the road. A characteristic that's great fun on a Sunday drive up the hills, but potentially painful on the daily commute to work. In spite of all this, though, this is by far the best bang for your bucks, in the best roadster you can buy today. Forget all those TTs and SLKs. Leave them to the hairdressers and Real Estate Agents. This is the real deal, and isn't afraid to let you know it at each and every turn. Sure, you're back will be stuffed, and you'll have a massive headache from all that road noise, but my God you'll still have a smile on your face. This is the closest you can come to a track focused touring car for the road. And doesn't it just look a million bucks!

AUDI R8 V12 TDI

Audi seems to be enjoying driving us all insane with anxiety. They've been hinting for months that they'll put their Le Mans conquering TDI V12 engine into the supercar of the moment, the R8. But hinting is one thing, confirmation is quite another. And so here we go again, for round two of psychological warfare with this, the R8 V12 TDI unveiled in Geneva. This is now the second R8 to be put on show with the same V12 that made motor sport history a couple of years ago, as Audi displayed a similar car at the Detroit Motor Show. Reception to that car was such that Audi has modified and decorated a second R8 with the same killer diesel. What's interesting with this one is that it definitely looks like a production car, with nothing unrealistic or 'showy' about it's appearance which couldn't be put into build. Not that it isn't fantastic to look at, anything but in fact. The V8 R8 makes a 911 look like a common Commodore. This red example, with it's tweaked carbon fibre body kit and sinister alloy wheels takes the R8 to Ferrari and Lamborghini levels of excitement, anticipation, and suggested motor sport pedigree.

The most important ingredient, of course, is that engine. Does 368KW sound special? Not particularly? Well how about 1000NM of torque? This engine could pull a fully laden bus and still be faster than any hoon's HSV. The sheer acceleration of this car will be absolutely extraordinary, and will surely be tailor made for GT production racing. Providing they adjust the chassis accordingly to host that torque then this will be one of the most desirable cars for a long long time. The R8 was destined for an engine like this, and for those petrol heads out there who still can't get their head around diesel power, then look at what Audi has been doing at Le Mans. Just about everyone, including their competitors, thought Audi were biting off more than they could chew when they announced they'd be moving their Le Mans cars to turbo-diesel power. Traditionalists thought they were stupid. So what happened? Audi walked the 24 hour race at their first diesel attempt, leaving their rivals looking pedestrian. Such was the dominance and power of their V12 turbo-Diesels that Peugeot (a maker synonymous with diesel engines) announced they'd return to Le Mans with their own diesel powered cars. In 2007, diesel powered cars dominated Le Mans.

The moral of the story? Like motor sport, ideologies and attitudes in the automotive industry are changing. These days, the majority of the market is now shifting to alternative technologies. Without that, the industry is unsustainable. The supercar market is more than ready for a diesel hero. Come on Audi, put us out of our misery and confirm what we already (almost) know!

SAAB 9-X BIOHYBRID & 9-4X BIOPOWER

For the first time in a long time, Saab have given us all a glimpse into their future with these two concepts at the Geneva Motor Show. The 9-X BioHybrid is a sort of blended sports hatch and crossover SUV, and almost certainly previews many design elements of their upcoming 9-1 premium small car. The front end takes the new Saab look now seen on the face lifted 9-3 to the next level, with clean lines and powerful proportions, particularly around the flared arches and darkened headlight lenses. What won't make production is an automatic rear spoiler, which raises above 70 km/hr, completely transforming the neat air-craft like shape into something akin to that Suzuki Peaks Climbing machine. Saab's newly found hallmark in LED tail lights continue to give the rear a minimalist look. While the concept has no engine in it at this stage, Saab says there will be a 1.4 Turbo Bio unit with a hybrid component, reducing CO2 emissions to an incredible 105g/km. If that engine makes production, then Saab will have jumped the gun on everyone else in the race to put a Bio Turbo Diesel Hybrid into production.

While the body of the 9-X is largely fiction at this stage, much closer to production is the 9-4X BioPower Concept, which looks nothing more than a tarted up version of Saab's much anticipated SUV. Classic Saab characteristics like the clamshell bonnet, concaved C-pillar, and clean, crisp surfaces are clear to see here. The snout is similar to that seen on the new generation of Saabs, albeit more butch and at an altogether larger scale due to the bigger proportions of the SUV. The nicely swepped back rear window sits above enlarged LED tail light units. Ignore the horrid 2-tone paintwork and the 9-4X is one nicely proportioned SUV, and arguably more resolved and appealing than existing German opposition, such as the BMW X5 and Mercedes ML-Class. The interior also looks close to production, and appears to be a massive step forward for Saab. The dash fascia is still angled around the driver (thankfully), and we've lost none of those little Saab traits, such as the trick air vents and centre ignition tunnel, but everything now feels much less 1980s. Surfaces are as clean and crisp as they are outside, and fit and finish look to be up to par in a segment where excellence is the norm. It appears that Saab have finally taken a leaf out of Volvo's book and learnt how to blend striking Scandinavian design with a bit of substance and quality. Of course it wouldn't be a Saab if it didn't have a turbo, and ethanol-blended fuel capabilities for that matter, and the 9-4X has both. A 2.0 turbo with Bio-blend ability pulls the 'concept' along with the help of Saab's excellent new XWD, recently introduced in the 9-3 Turbo X.

The 9-4X, along with the upcoming 9-1 small hatch, can't come soon enough for Saab. Thanks to the mis-management of GM, the once iconic Swedish marque is struggling on the sales front thanks to a small, ageing line up. These two models will give Saab the boost it thoroughly deserves, and with the new 9-3 compact exec due for completion in late '09/early 2010, the future looks stronger than it did a couple of years ago. Whether their cars are your cup of tea or not, the automotive world is a brighter place with Saab in it.